2008 Chevrolet Impala - This IS your Father's Oldsmobile

Although I've only written up a couple of vehicle reviews, I've had the opportunity to drive over a dozen different vehicles over the past several months. Some cars I couldn't spend enough time in, others I couldn't turn in soon enough. I've had sub-compacts and fully loaded extended Suburbans (know what happens when gas prices skyrocket and everyone wants a small car? You get upgraded from a mid-size to an extended SUV because no one else will take it!).

Of all of those cars, not a single one compares to the 2008 Impala I just turned in. Not the Dodge "I wanna be a hearse" Magnum; not the Toyota "I'll die if I have to accelerate" Camry; not even the stripped down Toyota "I rattle like a tin can" Corolla. No, thankfully I've never had another vehicle quite like this one.

In all fairness I should point out that the vehicle (VIN 2G1WT58N281223020) had 15,500 miles on it (15,722 by the time I was done) and we all know that cars fall apart at 15K miles. Except that they don't. Even in rental service a 15K mile vehicle should still be in pretty good shape and perform almost like new. Which makes this vehicle even more disappointing.

Exterior
A bright spot of this rental experience, I was quite impressed with how well the body panels fit together, the quality of the paint job, etc. Although getting a bit long in the tooth and in need of a re-design, it is not a bad looking car; it just isn't exciting.

Interior Materials, Fit & Finish, and Amenities
The first thing you notice when you get into the front seat of this car is that it is big. Not enormously big, more like "3 seats across the front" big. Remember those cars from when you were little? I don't particularly either, but they are apparently still available.

The second thing you'll notice as you get adjusted and turn on the vehicle is that the materials appear, well, cheap. Faux wood is abundant (at least I sure hope it was faux!) and so is that plasticky substance that everyone always complains about in American cars.

At least they included some padding - the dash was a little soft, the door inserts were soft, even the place where you rested your elbow had padding. It has just about enough padding for the design engineer to check the "padded" box, but nowhere near enough to have any effect on comfort. That particular area just smacked of someone following the letter of the law, but not the spirit -- "Really boss, I used padded materials. See here? The spec says it should be padded to 1/100 of an inch..."

And then you start the engine, the instruments light up, and you turn on the radio. Which, as near as I can tell, came out of the 1988 Impala. I'm including a picture here so you can see the 4-character display for yourself. Luckily they included an equalizer so you could control the sound. Except the button labeled EQ isn't really an equalizer - it just toggles between BASS and TREB. If you wait a couple seconds, however, the BASS will disappear and be replaced by a number so you can actually adjust the bass. Steering wheel controls? Not here. Radio Data System display (station call letters, artist, etc)? Yeah right! The only thing they got right on this radio is the inclusion of an aux input.

Powertrain / Driveability
The engine in the base Impala is actually quite strong - it produces a good amount of power from low RPMs and is reasonably strong at highway speeds as well. The transmission shifts nice and smoothly even under moderate to heavy acceleration. And even with the check engine light on, as it was for 4 of the 5 days I had the vehicle, it is happy to rev to full RPMs and do your bidding.

As a quick aside, please make note that Hertz will only bring you a new vehicle if the check engine light is flashing, not just on steady. According to the Roadside Assistance woman I spoke with when I asked to trade the car before any damage was done, a steady light means "the gas cap is loose" (it wasn't), while a flashing light means "it (the engine) is mis-firing". I'm sure all the people that are responsible for determining and assigning OBD2 codes will be pleased to know they really only needed 2, not the several hundred they presently have. But I digress.

The real issue with the vehicle was that while the engine was reasonably powerful at speed, you occasionally need more acceleration that your current gear can provide. Typically, the transmission would downshift to increase RPMs and provide the requested acceleration. And this transmission was no exception, so long as you mailed it a postcard ahead of time requesting a downshift. To say that there was a lag between flooring the accelerator and actual acceleration beginning is like saying there is a little bit of sand in the Sahara. Every car takes some getting used to, but this was outside of the acceptable range and bordering on dangerous. And yes, it was like that before the Check Engine light came on.

And then, as if that weren't bad enough, it turns out that stopping is just as difficult as getting going. The brakes are either ON or off. There is some amount of middle ground, but it'll take you a couple days to find it. And in the meantime you'll be forced to listen to your passengers bitch about how hard you are pushing on the brakes. The best part of this setup is that naturally it didn't occur them to include anti-lock brakes on the vehicle either.

Honestly, I thought every car had ABS. It never crossed my mind (well, before this car) that you could even get a car without ABS any more. Seems like it would be more expensive to design a braking system with and a braking system without ABS than to just put it on every one you build. But, for whatever reason, Chevy chose not to include ABS as standard equipment on the Impala as I found out one wet morning as I attempted to stop for a red light.

Nor, just for the record, did they include traction control. Although certainly more of an option, it was surprising to me to be able to push on the pedal and get engine revving, wheel spin, and no forward acceleration, all with out a peep from the vehicle.

Conclusion
I'm sure this vehicle is right for someone. If you simply like to get on the highway, set the cruise control at 55, and stay in one lane, it might be you. Or if, for some reason, you have an overwhelming urge to let two people call shotgun in your car. Otherwise, next time a police officer tries to pull you over, check out what he is driving. If it is an Impala just head for the nearest windy road - you'll have lost him by the 2nd corner.